Tag Archives: questions

Doubtful

I’m in one of those moods.

Feeling forever doubtful about poetry and my work.

I’m gradating soon and I have seen so many of my fellow talented writers leave college and to never write again.

I don’t want that to happen to my poems.

But is this a real thing? Many moments throughout my day consist of the thought, am I really good at this whole poetry writing stuff or is everyone just being really nice to me? Because who would say, “Well Sally maybe you should try something else.” This is all I got, I love it, I live for it, it’s what makes me feel better and I am the most happy writing and performing. But how will I make money? How will I get into a great MFA (Full time or low residency)

I want to be the best, but this just never seems to be in the cards for me, well I suppose I just need to dig really deep.

I’m just been so down on myself this week and my work. Maybe it’s the period, maybe the terrible back pain that makes me sleepy and in exhausted. MaybeI’m just facing some hard facts.

I don’t know what else to do but keep writing and performing.

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Filed under Help, Hope, Life, poetry, school, stressed out, Struggles, thoughts, universe, venting, WTF?

Question and Answer (Why I fill these out and post them I’ll never know)

So I woke up at 8am this morning because that’s what I tend to do after drinking. I wake up really early, not hung over and wanting to do something. I kind of worked on a few poems but I need a break from that so someone I follow on Tumblr posted this question answer thingy and I thought why the hell not, I’ll fill it out!

(Having some silly fun)

1.Kissed a girl? And I liked it! (Terrible Katy Perry joke…)

2.Kissed a boy? Do I really have to answer this one?

3.Had sex in public? If answer yes to this one do I even have to answer number #1 and #2? Of course I’ve had sex in public.

4.What’s your religion? I’m a very spiritual person but I prefer not to label myself a religion. I take away a lot from christianity and I take a lot away from buddhism. Then I take parts from funky stuff, like cord cuttings and other energy healing concepts.

5.What does your URL mean? This is silly. No.

6.Reason you joined Tumblr?It took me about 5 tries before I actually joined tumblr. If anyone can fuck up signing up for tumblr…I can

7.Do you have any nicknames? I will not answer this and give away my name but I do have a few random red-head joke names that include, Strawberry Short Cake and cinnamon muff.

8.Do you like bubble bath? Yes, I very much enjoy bubble bath, especially for my bad back

9.Kissed in the rain? I believe so, but its been awhile

10.Dyed your hair? With Henna, all natural shit

11.Soup or salad? Umm I want both

12.Vegetable or meat? Both, I LOVE FOOD. OHH I could have made this one sound so dirty…

13.Go out drinking?  You don’t need to go out drinking to drink. Shit, I drink in the shower when I’m in a hurry.

14.Smoke cigarettes? Nope, never have

15.Smoke weed? Never have

16.Do any hard drugs? Only a mans heat…haha (such a bad, weird joke) But really no hard drugs, but clearly I haven’t ever smoked anything, so it be weird if I skipped over weed and cigarettes for some nose candy.

17.Have you had sex today? Nope and thanks for reminding I need to masturbate

18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Yes. I’ve learned though I don’t always enjoy this or I’ve also learned that I can tell how compatible a guy and I are depending on how comfortable it is to cuddle falling asleep.

19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted? My poet friend, I’m touring with him at the moment. Really cool guy, very talented poet.

20.Has anyone said you have pretty eyes? Not to sound vain or anything but I get that a lot.

21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game? I have actually, umm Left For Dead and Halo sound much more fun sometimes…but its been a long time since I’ve had “homework” because the work I do for class is writing and reading books which I do on the daily.

22.Tried to commit suicide? umm, not really. I Know that sounds silly to put “not really” I will say I’ve thought of it, beginning of high school. I collected pills even but no I would have never gone through with it, really I wouldn’t have and have never thought about it again. High school at the start was hard, school wise for me. I really struggled and felt really embarrassed about my being apart of special education.

23.The last time you felt broken? Hmm…It’s been awhile. I’m not sure. Maybe at the start of summer.

24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt? Ok this question is stupid, I’m not going to answer it.

25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Nope…just me and my wine and my cats and my vibrators

26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair? Long hair

27.First thing you notice to a guy? Beard or no beard and then smile

28.Do you sing in the shower? I run poems in the shower and its driving my roommates crazy because throughout the day they hear me running my poems in different locations of the house.

29.Do you dance in the car? Umm heckkkk yeah! AND SING!

30.Where were you yesterday?Coffee shop-One Class-AND MY FEATURE FOR POETRY!

31.Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes…my dads side of the family is very “man.” They have motorcycles, cars and like sports but not just like football sports but track and cycling and racing dirt bikes.

32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Last month by my roommate. She’s a wonderful photographer. (And who says portrait taken)

33.Do you think musicals are cheesy? Umm no, Musicals rock my dancing socks!

34.Is Christmas stressful? No, but its cold as fuck! Then I go home to visit and stay in warm California and cry when I have to go back to the fucking harden your nipples cold.

35.Favorite type of fruit pie? Wow, I was just about to put…is banana pie a fruit pie? wow…wait its a cream pie? I don’t know…I like all pies. I don’t think theres a pie I don’t like.

36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A veterinarian or to be a member of the USA Women’s Soccer Team

37.Do you believe in ghosts? I do a little bit. I’m not really sure how I feel about it

38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? All the time

39.Take a vitamin daily? Yes, my roommate makes me, she says its good for me

40.Wear slippers? Nope

41.Wear a bath robe? After a shower when its cold as shit! And it feels good on my naked body

42.What do you wear to bed? Naked

43.Do you want to get married? That be cool someday

44.Can you curl your tongue? Oh yeah…

Relationship preference: (Oh boy, my favorite part of these things…)

45.How many relationships have you had? hmm Serious relationships? I would say only four. I’ve had a few more in between there and even some that I didn’t count that really effected me but those four meant the most.

46.How can I win your heart? I like food. haha Hmm I’m not sure. Talk to me, cuddle, hang out. I like to go out but I also very much enjoy staying home with a significant other and just watching a movie or read a book or talk about speech! or have sex….LOTS of HOT NASTY SWEATY SEX.
(Lets be real any man could easily win my heart with treating me to some good sex, amazing food and fantastic conversations) BAM I be yours!

47.What makes a great relationship? Trust, chemistry, some good lube and the right safe word

48.Shy OR open? What? ohh your asking what I prefer in someone I like. I don’t care. Both are lovely qualities but not crumpling shy. I’ve dated a guy like that before….oh dear it was bad

50.Religious OR non-religious? Either, I will support whatever my specific other supports as long as they support my faith and my beliefs. I will be there for them and what they believe as long as they are there for me.

51.Caring OR non-restricting of you? What? This is a terrible question

52.Straight edge OR non-straight edge? WHAT? bahahahaha Are we really asking this question? bahahaha

53.Piercings OR no piercings? Like them nipples pierced….oh boy (I don’t actually, I hope you all know that is a joke)

54.Tattoos OR no tattoos? Don’t care. I’ve dated a few guys with them tats

55.Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type? A man who enjoys sex

^That’s really the question this thing wants end on? Ok…

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Filed under about me, Facts, funny

This is Me, This is who I was born to become, I have always Become

I know there are no pictures of me up on my site and that is for privacy reason of planning of becoming a teacher and well lets be honest due to some of my subject matter its best if I keep my identity Anonymous on my blog. But I thought I would post a picture of my hair with snow flakes on it and add a little about me here, just for fun and to a new month, a new start and beginning.

Snow flake hair

  1. The first thing I did this morning was: Have sex
  2. My strength is: Myself, who i am
  3. My weakness is: I care too much about what people think about me
  4. Favorite Quotes: Hard to pick just one but I have the Resilience Gene, and that’s the gene that I hope will define me and everything I do for the rest of my life-Amy Cohen
  5. This weekend I’m going to: Drink, write, have a good time
  6. A TV character I’d most compare myself to is: Liz Lemon
  7. The most important quality in a potential mate is: Has a passion
  8. My guilty snack pleasure is: Oeros
  9. My first kiss was: by a fountain in California in my hometown
  10. Someone who always makes me laugh is: My brother
  11. I’m annoyed by: elitist people
  12. The last books I read was: I am Legend
  13. Favorite word: universe
  14. I cannot start my day without: writing
  15. My idol is: my books, authors, writers, poets, language
  16. If I was stuck on a deserted island, the one person I’d bring is: My best friend Valerie
  17. Favorite Band?: The Beatles
  18. Wish three wishes I’d ask for are: become a published writer, work at my dream job, and have a happy fulfilled life
  19. One word to describe me is: Resilience
  20. A surprising fact about me is: I have authority processing disorder

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Filed under about me, for fun, Life