Tag Archives: single life

Worthy of being F______


I am tired of boys. Tired of boys who only have the courage to speak to me drunk.        “Which equals just want a hook up.”

Tired of the boys that think they are fucking me like a man.

I am tired of the back and forth. Tell me they have sturggles, insecurities and bullshit.  (Then they mess with me.) I am tired of being played. Tired of getting my hopes up. Tired of thinking boys will change.

Tired of waiting for boys to step up to the plate and become men.

Tired of the boys that want me to be their side woman to the woman they call “getting back together, but it’s not serious.”

I am tired of not being taken to dinner. Not being told I’m beauitful and I’m tired of being the fuck buddy, then being judged for who I sleep with. Being looked at as not the standard of a woman.

I swear if anyone sits here and pulls that dating quote that states, well you get what you give out. Be 23 again and let me know how dating goes for you. Let me know what else boys 21-23 think about besides sex.  Nothing.

I’m over the games.

At the point of just feeling hurt, used, confused and finally realizing that I ended up the “easy fuck.”

At least I know what I am worthy of.

Still, I will always hope a boy will step up to the plate and be the man I hope they really are inside.

Until then I am fuckable

worthy of being fucked

slang for body warmer.


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Filed under FML, sex, single girl problems

Single and ready to…ok I don’t want to mingle today.

Song of the Day: Greyhound by Swedish House Mafia-I don’t know what about this song gets me in the mood to write, but it really does and it’s weird because normally I need to listen to slower music, but after Finny sent this to me, I love writing to it. Maybe its because the high energy reminds me about the adrenaline rush I feel running or riding dirt bikes.

Quotation of the day: When my mother was in the hospital with the kidney infection, she was propped up in bed reading a movie magazine when, all of a sudden, she felt me turn in her belly and her feet went cold and colder and the cold moved up until it almost reached her heart. She knew then that she was dying. She buzzed the nurse, then she didn’t move. The nurse couldn’t find a pulse, she ran for the doctor. My mother was thinking, “If only they would open up those windows.” They were these huge, French windows. And the doctor walked in and he looked into my mother’s eyes and he opened those windows and her pulse began again. Hey dog, that’s my favorite story.
-Terry Galloway 

Book of the Day: My boyfriend wrote a book me by Hilary Winston (my books came in today)

Its Saturday afternoon and I’m sitting at the lovely “Coffee Shop” working not only on this blog, but also working on one of the stories I’m writing. Speaking of my writing, one of my goals “the 3 things I want in life” goals is to get a book published. I’m actually thinking about setting up a mini goal of having this short story done and turn it into a few publishers by January. You know what I’m going to set that goal! So, by the end of January I’m going to send one of my short stories out to a publisher.

This week has been extremely emotionally draining, but its caused a lot more soul searching for myself, so that’s the positive note from all this. It’s just…umm hard I guess. I’m sure many of us feel this, the sitting alone in a room and looking back at your actions and thinking to yourself did I have the right to feel hurt, to feel pain and did I have the right to speak up for myself. Clearly we all have the right to speak up for ourselves, and we should; but then comes the second question along with that answer, when we speak up for ourselves do we have the right to intentionally hurt the other party with the words we choose to use. I think many of us do forget how powerful words can be. Dr. Katz, my English professor said  to us: “Never doubt the power of language.” I think language is such a beautiful simple art form that we use each and everyday and its crazy to think that language really shapes a person. Everything we think about, see, or feel can come out through language, but we use it so much throughout our daily lives we forget how powerful what we say can really effect people. Or you know, maybe it’s not the words, maybe it’s the knowledge that someone used words to hurt us. That’s how I felt yesterday, I know I’m not perfect, but yesterday someone used language to hurt me. They took out their own pain on me, pain that was not caused by me. I was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Language is so interesting that way and the willingness of hurting others with words. Normally I try not to let words effect me, but this has really taken its toll on me because it brought up some past pain I thought I was over with.

Lets be real though, can we ever be really done with pain?

Oh, on a funnier, and lighter mood: Lets talk about being single!

So I google and look up a lot of other blogs nowadays and I notice must have to do with why it sucks to be single. I disagree, its really quite lovely to be single. Don’t get me wrong I like relationships (well I don’t know if I will now because some people will be more permanently happier then me, so that sucks I guess) LOL

But I thought I make a list of what it’s fucking awesome to be single (Friends added to some)

  • If you forget to take your birth control that morning, no big deal just take it later that night. Not like you’re having sex that night.
  • You don’t have to report back to anyone (I’m digging this 1984 style relationship)
  • You tend to thin out single (true story)
  • You don’t have to tell your gynecologist you’ve had sex with 5 more men (ok maybe that happens more when your single….)
  • More reading, doesn’t mean I’m less naked.
  • You understand Beyonce better single
  • You have more money
  • More food
  • More dignity
  • You have more cats
  • whip cream is only for ice cream and jello
  • Get drunk faster at bars i.e. more free drinks
  • I could kiss all the boys in this room and no one will care
  • Don’t have to shave everyday
  • Vibrators
  • buying underwear is cheaper
  • you don’t have to match your bra and underwear as much
  • not thinking about what underwear you should wear
  • the only love you need in your life are for cars/bikes
  • Not wearing make up today, cool
  • Not wearing underwear either today, double cool
  • Wake up next to my best girl friend
  • I can spend my Sunday watching Once upon a time with Tina
  • Don’t have to make my bed
  • I don’t have to introduce my cat to my boyfriend
  • Handcuffs just mean I’m going to jail
  • Looking at all the men asses I want
  • Looking smoking hot at the club, can dance with who I want
  • The only person that saw me naked was, me, in the mirror.
  • Dating
  • self-discovery…
  • More time for your career
  • Stay in bed all day and watch Greys Anatomy
  • Sleeping alone
  • ALL the food is mine and always is mine
  • Don’t have to get up out of bed and see someone
  • More room in the shower
  • Doesn’t matter if food gets in your hair.
  • Life seems funnier
  • the best stories happen to you when your single
  • You look good, all day, everyday

Hmm made add more to that list later, but that’s it for now.

Tonight, dinner with Valerie and Annie and a halloween party; that Valerie and I don’t want to dress up to, so we are just going as “we are hot and look hot” that sounds good to me. ❤

I realized I haven’t really slept more then 8 hours total in the past two days. I need to sleep more this week. Writing is going well. Maybe I’ll post up some of my work up soon here.

Goals for the rest of my Friday:

  • Have a great dinner
  • Dress up and look so good the boys be flocking my way
  • smile more
  • let go of some pain
  • understand someone
  • Learn something new about someone
  • new one cool fact
  • wear heels
  • talk with close friends
  • hug a cat
  • laugh at a joke
  • don’t fall
  • hear a new song
  • read

Cat Picture of the day

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Filed under Dating, Life