Tag Archives: single girl problems

Yeah…this dry spell is a mess and full of food

Yesterday my three roommates and I drove 45 minutes to a different town to get our hands on:

  1. Jamba Juice
  2. Krispy Kreme Donuts
  3. Sweet Potato Tots <– These were just a plus and weren’t planned until we got into town.

For anyone that lives out in the “middle of no where midwest” you understand the need to venture out and find other kinds of food. Especially when my roommates and I are all from California, where everything you ever wanted is everywhere.

Food tends to be the center of my universe. I’m going to be making a poetry performance trip in April and the first thing I told my roommate was, “I’m going to look up what kind of food they have there.”

Also we are planning a road trip for May and June and the majority of planned out events involve food.

This is my life.

Also for many of my readers of this outrageous blog, I haven’t had sex as of recent. Actually I haven’t sense November. So I so how went on a celibate binge without my knowledge.

Or as my dear friend told me, “Your celibacy is bumming all of out.” And apparently my poetry is missing the nasty like it once had. But I’m sure I still sneak that shit in there a lot.

But last night really confirmed my need to get laid.

Valerie and I stayed up until 2am watching The Voice in our blanket fort we made for the living room, that’s now been up for a week and some days. One Usher makes our loins burn, that was until Usher reminded Valerie of this guy she dated for a while. Still Usher is yummy yum.

Then this guy comes on The Voice and sings and I’m sure Valerie and I both had mini orgasm’s

 

The conversation as he sang-

Valerie: imagine having sex with him

Me: imagine him taking off your clothes and singing

Valerie:  ahhh don’t say that! I’m going crazy!!

 

Yeah…we need to get laid and badly…very badly.

 

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Filed under Being a woman, Confessions, FOOD, funny, Really Sally? SingleGirlProblems, sex, single girl problems, Struggles

Making a List

Here’s a list

The weird shit you have to get use to if you date me:

  • When I eat, food seems to end up in my hair
  • My friends say I have hole in my mouth because when I eat, food sometimes seems to just fall out of my mouth
  • I run into shit all the time
  • I’m addicted to hand lotion
  • I have to double check a bunch of times my car is locked
  • when I’m out eating, everything has to be placed at a certain way on the table
  • I switch back and forth with which hands I use for my fork, knife, or spoon
  • I’m scared of E.T.
  • I find my underwear in the weirdest places
  • I make some weird hand gestures
  • I have terrible grammar
  • My leg shakes when I’m sitting down
  • I lip sync  and dance a little when I’m listening to music and writing
  • I’ll eat pasta and eat sweets (my friend thinks this is weird)
  • I’ve been known to walk out of my hose with two different sandals on
  • I’ve been known to walk out of my house with my shirts inside out or backwards
  • I don’t how to use Tumbler ( I have tried and I have failed, three times)
  • I can be blonde
  • I will trip over myself.
  • I’m so weird
  • I have a whole album called, “Cats in Hats”
  • I snap with my pinky fingers
  • I’ve gotten a paper cut in my eye
  • I’m not organized with anything but my job

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I know putting down all my weird qualities will definitely not help me get laid, but ehh whatever I’m past that issues.

After looking over all my lovely qualities I’m going to say, “Good luck.”

Good luck Sally, good luck…You’re going to need it

(I also refer to myself in the third person sometimes)

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Filed under Dating