Tag Archives: dinner

Today I masturbated to a Berry White song, candles and my pretty pink vibrator

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Today (I mean Saturday March 8th) was amazing. Now of course I’m writing this at 3am which is due to the fact that I just watch half of the documentary, My Amityville Horror and after the creepiest fucking picture of a ghost boy we shut off the film and freaked out for 10 minutes and then put on The Office to calm ourselves down. Real ghosts or not and no matter what you believe it was creep as fuck.

But this March 8th was an amazing little day. I got to spend all day at my favorite little coffee shop working on my poetry. Hung out with friends, went to two little house parties, had a nice beer, lots of food all day. I’ve been pushing myself to eat better and eat more throughout my day and my body has been feeling wonderful.

Also I found out today one of my poems found a home! It’s going to be getting published in a University Journal! Yay! It felt wonderful to read the email. They also invited me to read at their university so I’m pretty sure I’m going to attend that. Basically I’m feeling great, because this is another stepping stone for my work. I can’t wait to see where I’ll go from here!

As for the title of this blog, yes I masturbated. Ha!

Honestly I hadn’t recently masturbated the last week or so, but after I had dinner I just got the feeling and ok I happen to have a candle already lit and ok I may have put on some Barry White, because I have a poem where I joke about masturbating as a Berry White song plays so I thought I should actually live up to umm my writing….yeah.

Two things I learned today: I need to get laid and I want a new fancy vibrator

and of course I would talk about masturbation and my poetry getting published in the same goddamn post. Ha!

And this is my life.

FML bahahaha

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Filed under Being a woman, FML, FOOD, funny, poetry, Really Sally? SingleGirlProblems, single girl problems, This would happen to me (funny)

When dinner dates go well

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a date go well. It’s been a long time since things felt easy. Been a long time since I was naked, sober and didn’t end up having sex. (Hey…I may have been  a bit naked but it was about time)

I may be an ultra feminist at times but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy when a man takes me out to dinner, than coffee. A man who will open doors for me and well basically does every polite thing you can think of. Plus enjoying these aspects shouldn’t ever be labeled as “anti-feminist.”

Geez, I like it when a man can step up to the plate and tell me I damn good. I know I look good but I also like to hear it.

I had a wonderful thursday night. I’m not sure where this will go and I’ve become rather pessimistic at the age of 24. Which is a shame to feel so bitter about dating at this age but after the shit I’ve dealt with are we surprised? I’m not…well I guess I went through it so…

It was the first time in a very long time I felt a connection with someone and to have that returned as well. To sit down and realize so many true connections are nice. Even if this goes no where and ends up becoming a mess or something it was definitely the little push I needed to become a sad woman with a bunch of plants, or cats.

And I’m not going to lie the sexual tense was hot, hot….did I say how hot it was? Damn I haven’t been that hot since I went hiking in Death Valley. I’m also going to be rather vain but I know I’m good at what I do. Sometimes I have these fleeting moments of forgetting and I worry and then I’m like, “oh yeah….I’m good at that shit.” This time was different too…there was definitely a different connection I felt in a long time and I know he definitely felt it.

Or….maybe I’m just that good at giving head.

Any ways for now I’m going to enjoy the moments and the fact that I went on a date with someone who isn’t in college.

Thank you Jesus for tall men with bodies.

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Filed under Being a woman, Confessions, Dating, Life, thoughts, universe