Category Archives: reading

Summer Goals

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I’ll be moving permanently back to California at the end of May.

I’m sad to leave the midwest but it’s time to move on and try my luck in another city. I thought it’s only appropriate to make a list of goals for my summer.

Summer Goals:

  1. Submit chapbook Gazing Grain Press Before June
  2. Submit to Dancing Girl Press
  3. Submit to Hyacinth Girl
  4. Look up GRE Info.
  5. Start tackling my writing sample
  6. Make official list MFA programs
  7. Go to Open Mics in California
  8. Look up new journals to submit to
  9. Cut new Drama’s and Poetry’s for speech
  10. Work out
  11. Eat better
  12. Set up my room
  13. Read: The Feminine Mystique, A Room of One’s Own, The Beauty Myth, Sister Outsider, The Second Sex, The Woman Warrior, Sexual Politics, Yes Means Yes, The Purity Myth.

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Filed under about me, Books, good energy, List, My Chapbook, poetry, reading, school, Summer, thoughts

How do you…

How do you thank someone who has done so much for you?

So much that I don’t think they will ever fully understand how much they have done for me.

I am so thankful for my professor. I don’t know where I would be today if not for stumbling into my spring poetry workshop last year. Gosh I owe him everything.

He has been an extraordinary professor. And I’m very sad this is the last semester I’m going to be working with him as a student. Because this last year and a half has been amazing for me.

To say I struggle in school would be an understatement. I have never been a very good student. As hard as I’ve tried I have struggled a lot and I have far too many memories of messing up in school. Too many tears and too many times I’ve hidden facts about myself to friends. Because I don’t want to appear as stupid.

For once in my life I feel like I’m apart of the education community instead of out-of-place. I feel like I belong and I can hold my own not only in my poetry workshops but in all my classes.

It’s hard to express over the internet how huge of a feeling this is for me.

I cry every time I think about it.

Every time I think about much I use to pray as this 7-year-old kid asking God to make me like everyone like. Make me not stupid.

It’s taken me a long time to figure out why I’ve ended up the way I have.

I don’t use the normal route like everyone else. It’s taken a long time to be happy with the fact that  I learn differently. There are times will I still break down and I still get mad at myself. But I’ve gotten better now.

I’ve found a voice and a place where I belong. I am so grateful.

This is the moment I’ve been waiting for since I was a little kid in first grade reading Cat and Dog. The one book I remember as a child because I remember picking that book because it was the only one I could read. Or on kindergarten visit day I would have my buddy kindergartener read the books because they could read better than me and I didn’t want them to find out.

It’s been a long road and it amazes me how young I was and I still knew something felt off about myself.

And that’s what’s wrong with the education system. The fact that I felt embarrassed that I wasn’t smart enough. Finally I’ve realized how many gifts I have and the many gifts that have developed due to my learning disability.

I am so grateful for the woman I am today.

I am so grateful for all the amazing teachers I’ve been given throughout my education. Without them I would not be the person I am today. That is the moment I believe there must be something out there in the universe taking care of us. Because it’s not by accident that I was given all these wonderful teachers and these wonderful parents to hold my hand and help me through my greatest struggles and tears.

Oh my goodness I am overwhelmed with such strength and love.

This is why I want to be a teacher.

Thank you to my teachers.

Thank you to my parents.

Thank you.

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Filed under about me, Family, My Chapbook, reading, school, Sleep, Struggles, Teachers, Thankful, thoughts, universe, Words

Note

Thank God I read at the Open Mic tonight

I needed that.

Poetry: Always keeps me going

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Filed under poetry, reading, Thankful, thoughts, universe

Let me just sit here, just spin here

With the universe hanging around my neck, trickling down spine and out my breath

The universe around my neck

Spring break this week! Woo! Taking it easy this spring break. Got a lot of cleaning already done and spent my whole weekend sleeping which lead to the most intense vivd dream I’ve ever had. It was so beautiful and breath taking! My mind is finally well rested again and its about time I become spiritually connected again. I’m connecting with the universe once again. I feel so good up and down my soul.

Also I turned my poetry into a local contest last week. So maybe I’ll end up winning something, that would be nice. On that note, I love where my poetry is going at the moment. I’m very excited where my work is going. Writing is becoming more and more a part of myself and I’m falling head over heels with it. I’ve made plans of looking into a MFA programs focusing on poetry. I’m very excited and hoping one day my work will make a difference.

Finally almost done with Eat, Pray, Love! I’m in love with this little book. I just picked it back up again after not reading it for about three months and might I add this was the book I needed for this last weekend and this up coming week. Planning on finishing it up by tonight and going to pick up a new book tonight. By I wanted to talk about a part of the book. Elizabeth Gilbert and a few people she meets in Italy talk about how everything seems to have a word. Like cities and such. They then proceed to talk about what they think their word is. I realized what my word is Resilience. Which is something I hope to get tattooed on my back soon, well Resilience Gene is what I want tattooed on my back and I cannot wait for this tattoo to happen!

I’m looking forward to the changes going on inside of myself and the feelings transforming throughout my body. My spirit is ready for the changes happening.

L’ho provato sulla mia pelle

(I have experienced that on my own skin)

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Filed under about me, Books, good energy, Life, my writing, poetry, reading, thoughts, universe

Books

I have started to notice people have such strong opinions over books and poems. And I mean in the terms if a poem is good or bad and if a book is a bad, or just simply put it’s silly and stupid, childish almost.

To start off, yes there are bad books in the world, ok well I dislike with calling any book “bad” and now thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever read a bad book. I have read books I pick up and then I put it down right away, but doesn’t mean it’s a bad book, it just simply means I had no connection with the book, it didn’t spark my interest, or simply put I’m not mature enough yet to appreciate the literature.

But I don’t think I’ve ever read through a book and labeled it as “bad.”

I don’t think a book can be bad, be childish, and not be worth reading.

Because to someone else that books means a lot to them, the message that work of literature gives them what they were looking for.

And I think some times we forget to think about the author. Someone put their heart and soul into that poem or that story. As someone who writes myself, I know I put a lot of myself into my stories, or like my friend Tina says, “Sally this story is your diary.” I think it’s extremely important to remember a story or a poem is someones art work and they put a lot of them-self into that story, or poem.

With that being said, I’m starting to dislike it more and more when I’m approach by people who have such strong convictions about a piece of literature. Especially if they haven’t even read the book to begin with. Because who are we to judge what is beautiful? The definition of beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and for explain, you will look at a road and see nothing, but I will look at a road and it will bring back memories of when I saw my dog get hit by a car when I was seven.

Past experiences set us up, change how we feel and how we see the world, these memories shape are reading experiences. Shape what we like or dislike to spend time on.

Also I’ve become burden with the fact and understanding that people around me simply don’t like to read. And they have no problem telling me this and I really don’t understand this. For someone who has struggled for years with a learning disability, who use to pray to God to help me become a better reader, for someone like me who still struggles with understanding concepts of English, it baffles me when I meet so many people so turned off by reading or with such a small amount of books in their possession. And it baffles me even more when I met another writer, and they seem to know so little about the field, the community they claim to be apart of. Writers who don’t read always remind me of this quote,

“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”
― Stephen King

And I’m a firm believer you should read everything you can get your hands on, because thats how you learn, how you figure out what you want to write about.

I feel like you can only truly say you’re working at your craft if you taking in everything from it your craft.

It’s really becoming more and more of a turn off for me when people think it interests me how little of a book collection they have or how much they don’t like a certain kind of book, or they consider a book too mainstream, too fuzzy warm or not worth a read. This especially gets more irritating to me when these group of people not only have such a small collection of book, but next to those books they have a large collection of movies next to their nonexistent book collection. Which always reminds me how many of the films lined up in their collection were first a book, a story before they were filmed or drawn out. I think thats so interesting to look at it that way.

These are the moments I feel more and more like we could become a society like in the book Fahrenheit 451. I don’t think it could ever fully happen, because there are far too many writers and crazy English majors out there to let this happen but lets be real, Fahrenheit 451 has happened already a  little bit. It’s easier for me to list the people that read, then the ones that don’t. I think theres about less then 10 of my close friends who read more then two books a year, that aren’t a school mind you.

Maybe you should ask yourself what is your favorite book and if you don’t have one, not a single one, then you should start worrying.

I’ve become an endangered species, a person who likes to read books. Which cracks me up, because at the age of seven I couldn’t even sound out the word “book.”

I guess books and I just need to stick together

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Filed under Books, Life, reading, thoughts, what is good or bad?