Category Archives: List

Summer Goals

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I’ll be moving permanently back to California at the end of May.

I’m sad to leave the midwest but it’s time to move on and try my luck in another city. I thought it’s only appropriate to make a list of goals for my summer.

Summer Goals:

  1. Submit chapbook Gazing Grain Press Before June
  2. Submit to Dancing Girl Press
  3. Submit to Hyacinth Girl
  4. Look up GRE Info.
  5. Start tackling my writing sample
  6. Make official list MFA programs
  7. Go to Open Mics in California
  8. Look up new journals to submit to
  9. Cut new Drama’s and Poetry’s for speech
  10. Work out
  11. Eat better
  12. Set up my room
  13. Read: The Feminine Mystique, A Room of One’s Own, The Beauty Myth, Sister Outsider, The Second Sex, The Woman Warrior, Sexual Politics, Yes Means Yes, The Purity Myth.

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Filed under about me, Books, good energy, List, My Chapbook, poetry, reading, school, Summer, thoughts

I’ll take this post with a side of bitter and a cup of pissed off

I did one of these awhile ago. I will admit these can be rather trivial, silly and a bit sexist in certain aspects but sometimes a girl just has to set a few rules and expectations.

For most of my young adult, which hasn’t been that long yet I have been silly with the qualities I’m looking for in a man, until recently when I was like, “UGH I”M SICK OF ALL THIS!” (I will purpose the sexist cliché idea that I am bitter and on my period right now.”

(These are blunt, honest and I’m not sorry)

  • No drugs. I’m over the pot smoking, ecstasy and lines of “nose candy” bullshit. You once smoked, fine I don’t care and understand I have a terrible addiction to Dr. Pepper and the TV Show Grey’s Anatomy. We will have our vices, but I’m over dealing with men that use substances to create art, to have fun or to basically get through the day.
  • Drinking too much. Look I’m a fun gal, I get drunk, I enjoy it, shit I write everyday and sometimes a glass of wine is needed. But hearing someone is drinking everyday, three beers a day. I’m sorry but its a turn off. I don’t need to get drunk twice a week. Shit barley once a month to have the craving of, “I wanna get wasted.”
  • Using the word “Ghetto.” I’m over it and done.
  • Not supporting my right of choice. Look if you don’t believe in it, fine that’s your freedom but don’t expect to date me.
  • Grammar correction. Over it. I get it you notice when people have spelling mistakes or grammar issues. You need to get a life and worry about your own language and the lack of quality within it.
  • A man who enjoys cooking, because I’m going to blunt and honest. I don’t cook and I don’t have the patience for it. So it would be lovely to date a man who enjoys cooking.
  • Has a car: for too long have a been the one in the relationship driving us everywhere
  • Who will pay for dinner. Look I’ll buy too but for too long have I been the sole provider of meals. Over it.
  • Dresses like their age.
  • No racist, sexist, homophobic comments
  • I hate “no homo”
  • Calling another women a bitch, slut, the over million derogatory  terms is not ok. If you think about other women like that then how should I expect you to picture me or women in my life.
  • Saying things about me like, too fat, too thin. I’m tired of the too much or the not enough.
  • If they are in love with an art form, oh gosh that be lovely. I haven’t date many artists. More the frat boys, the runners and a few choir boys.
  • I love when someone has future goals and aspirations but whats more attractive  is when someone actually achieves their dreams and goals. I’ve dated too many men that have spat on about “going back to school” “getting that place to live” blah blah blah Stop talking and go out and get what you want.
  • I hate,  I HATE when a guy asks me why all my poetry is so angry. Gosh that’s so rude.
  • Have a passion and love it to pieces
  • Don’t dislike the TV show Friends. Regardless if you’re a fan or not. It’s such a red flag when you have such a hate for it. What did the TV ever do to you? Oh that’s right you must not have a soul.
  • Turn off #1 when a guy says, “I hate books.”  I’m fine if you’re not a fan but if you can’t tell me one book you enjoyed reading, like Harry Potter even…then we have a problem!
  • When men post pictures of naked women on their Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or anywhere! Ugh I hate it. Nasty.
  • Not having a career
  • Too much video game playing. I don’t mind the video game playing here and there but when that’s all you do…I’m sorry just not going to work for me.
  • They have their own set of friends and spend time with them. I think of it as a red flag when a guy really just goes to work, home and well that’s it. They have no one else in their life.
  • Talking down to me
  • Acting like you are Gods gift to art, ugh I know a few of these boys in my workshops *yuck*
  • When men use the phrase “ugh i hate academia” First of all if you’re using academia you are in academia. And whats wrong with the pursuit of education, but that’s going to be another post
  • Don’t tell me you’re not good enough for me, because I’ll realize, “hmm you’re right…see yea!”

Ok this is all I could think of and I’m not as bitter not that I have had wine and ice cream but I’ll think of more!

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Filed under Asshole, Confessions, Dating, for fun, List, single girl problems, What do you want in a man, WTF?

Goals for my weekend (16 things)

I’ve been having a rough week, so I thought it would help to make myself a list.

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  1. Drink Tea
  2. Get some good sleep
  3. Meditate
  4. Rent the movies I’ve been meaning to
  5. Read Jane Eyre
  6. Read a book of my choice
  7. MEMORIZE NEW POEMS!
  8. Have a drink with a poetry friend whose in town
  9. Eat something yummy
  10. Clean my room
  11. WRITE POETRY
  12. FEEL GOOD ABOUT MY WORK!
  13. Figure out two poetry shows
  14. Relax and take it easy (I’ve been stressed)
  15. Work on my senior project
  16. SUMBIT POETRY TO JOURNALS

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Filed under Facts, Life, List, Sleep, Struggles, universe

Midwest is calling my name…Sally come drink….Sally come be naked..or just sleep. Yeah lets sleep.

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I have a an hour to kill at the airport and it took all my will to not buy a drink at the bar here. I fought all my will power and common sense that I should buy myself a drink. But I did have to promise myself I can have a few drinks tonight once I’m back in town.

Now lets hope I don’t pass out…I’ve been feeling rather exhausted lately and I’m not sure why. I time finals and the non-stop traveling and working has finally done me in. I cannot wait to just sleep back in my large bed!

Also my little coffee-house and my poetry! I’ve taken two weeks off from writing. not like I haven’t been stewing in some thoughts. Also found a few rather interesting websites as well that will definitely help my work.

Films I watched over my winter break:

*First time being watched (the rest I’ve seen probably too many times)

  • Jaws
  • Lord of the RIngs: The fellowship of the Ring
  • Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
  • The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey
  • *The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  • *Milk
  • *Lincoln
  • *Monsters University
  • Elizabeth: The Golden Age
  • Some Like it Hot
  • Sound of Music
  • *Wolverine
  • *Star Trek: Into Darkness
  • Elf

I’m also in the process of buying a few more books. These last few days I’ve been looking over books I may want to buy and I think I’ve almost made my final decision.

Without a doubt I’ll be buying Saints and Strangers by Andrew Hudgins

I’m also thinking about The Red Tent, The Beauty Myth, Cinderella Ate my Daughter, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the NIght-Time, or Delusions of Gender. 

I’m looking at a few more as well, but I’m thinking about those books at the moment.

Also I discovered the new love of my life:

Kentucky Orange Blossom

Dear drink, You have given me life in the form of bourbon. Oh gosh I love you.

Note to Self: 

Some things will never change.

and I should have learned this years ago. Should have figured this out the first time Thrilla lied to me about the first break up. Should have learned the first time I figured out I was just your back-up. I guess sometimes we just have to learn the hard way. Not like any of this has been very hard, or hurtful. It really hasn’t to be honest. I’m more disappointed in a friend, a guy i thought had finally grown into a man during the years I had been awhile.

I learned this trip that the best sex I’ve ever had still is the same guy I first left behind in California.

I’ve grown up, but he has yet to find any balance. I am disappointed in someone I had such raw sexual energy with and more importantly disappointed in a friend I thought was looking out for me. But now I know. And this portion on my post will be a reminder to myself to never go back. Because fuck being someones back up.

So here we go….Bring it Midwest!

I’m ready.

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Filed under Books, Drinking, Hope, Life, List, My house, my writing, sex, single girl problems, thoughts

Up too late and not a clue how to stop over thinking this life

Fifth straight night in a row I’ve stayed up past 3AM. I am yet again working on pieces for work.

I’ve missed this job. Missed the classroom, missed seeing the kids I coach and I missed working at a job that I not only love but a job I know I’m excel at.

Even though I back to doing what I love, for some odd reason that I cannot even begin to comprehend or really explain…I’m lonely.

Sitting here working on and reading scripts. I feel this empty pit in my stomach. It’s lonely to work late hours on your own. Lonely when their isn’t someone in my life that wants to know how my day went, how work is going and just to have someone that is missing me, thinking about me, maybe even dreaming about me.

Yes, I have friends who miss me when I’m away, but what I’m describing above is the loneness many of us feel daily, the desire for having someone special in our lives. For some reason tonight I am missing this, craving this and wishing that maybe there was someone out there who was thinking about me. Do I have a someone? No, not at all; this is why I wish.

Working alone tonight is…tough.

Early this evening I also had a difficult talk with a friend. A friend trying to help me move on from an issue I didn’t want to admit was still an problem. Recently I have become very heart broken from past dating experiences. Clearly from the past few men [boys I mean] that I have written about throughout my blog it’s no surprise I feel heart broken.

I am heart broken.

Reminds me about a section of a poem I wrote:

“Trying to Charleston backwards in heels out metaphorical doors,

left clothes behind, zapped by God in apocalypse.

Left behind Twitter Make Out page, first night we meet.

We all have first nights we undressed-

out full flapper dress and into the arms-

of our friends, the first night we drunk cried.

Losing our iconic dance partner.

Because he couldn’t dance and talk at the same time.

Couldn’t look in same direction as our waltz.”

From my poem: “Fred Astaire dancing backwards in Heels.”

“It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t coma back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain. Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there and you have too. You’re nodding your head.”

― Henry Rollins

How do I stop blaming myself for something that was never my fault?

I think they call it letting go.

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Filed under Confessions, Dating, List, my writing, poetry, single girl problems, thoughts

Top 20/12/5 Lists of Stuff

These are list of my top 20/12/5 favorite things. From music, to movies to books. It was hard to pick but I did it.

Top 20 Movies:

  1. Pans Labyrinth
  2.  Big Fish
  3. The Descendants
  4. Midnight in Paris
  5. Phoebe in Wonderland
  6. O Brother, where art thou
  7. Finding Neverland
  8. Rio
  9. Lo
  10. Heathers
  11. The Birdcage
  12. Capote
  13. Up in the Air
  14. Schindler’s list
  15. Frida
  16. Tombstone
  17. Amelie
  18. P.S. I Love You
  19. When Harry met Sally
  20. Lord of the Rings thriology

Top 20 Books:

  1. The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
  2. Heart of a Dog by Terry Galloway
  3. Notes Left Behind by Keith Desserich
  4. Worth Fighting For: Love, Loss, and Moving Forward by Lisa Niemi Swayze
  5. The Hobbit By J.R.R Tolkien
  6. The Late Bloomers by Amy Cohen
  7. Dracula by Bram Stoker
  8. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
  9. The Women of Lockerbie by Deborah Brevoort
  10. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
  11. Love Lucy by Lucille Ball
  12. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
  13. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
  14. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
  15. The Handmiads Tale by Margaret Atwood
  16. The Five People You Meet in Heaven
  17. The Lovely Bones By Alice Seabold
  18. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
  19. Blue Nights by Joan Didion
  20. The Metamorphosis by  Franz Kafka

Top 20 Song:

  1. Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles
  2. Let it be by The Beatles
  3. Dance Tonight by Paul McCartney
  4. If I ever Leave this world By Flogging Molly
  5. Where Did are love go by The Supremes
  6. Girls Got Rhythm By AC/DC
  7. Ain’t no Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
  8. You make my Dreams by Hall & Oates
  9. I’ll be seeing you by Billy Holiday
  10. Love by John Lennon
  11. Hole in your Heart by Abbie Folkien
  12. Tightrope by Joannelle Monae
  13. I will wait by Mumford & Sons
  14. Your Song by Elton John
  15. Little Talks by Monsters & Men
  16. Jackie Wilson Said by Kevin Rowland & Dexys Midnight Runners
  17. I Say a Little prayer for you by Aretha Franklin
  18. I Got a Women by Ray Charles
  19. Baby I Need Your Lovin by Four Tops
  20. Johnny B. Good by Chuck Berry 

Top 21 Poets

  1. Andrea Gibson
  2. Simon Ortiz 
  3. Shihan
  4. Mike McGee
  5. Mayda del Valle
  6. Bassey Ikpi
  7. Carlos andres Gomez
  8. Derrick Brown
  9. Thea Monyee
  10. Carrie Rudzinski
  11. Sarah Kay
  12. Sonia Sanchez
  13. Rafael Casal
  14. T.S Elliot
  15. Kenneth Arkind
  16. Staceyann Chin
  17. Omar Holmon
  18. Amir Sulaiman
  19. Emily Dickinson 
  20. Pablo Neruda
  21. Suheir Hammad

Top 12 TV Shows

  1. Friends
  2. How I met your Mother
  3. The Office
  4. 30 Rock
  5. I Love Lucy
  6. Grey’s Anatomy
  7. Futurama
  8. American Dad
  9. The Simpsons
  10. Morden Family
  11. Once Upon a Time
  12. Big Bang Theory

Top 5 Supercross riders

  1. Jeremy Mcgrath
  2. Chad Reed
  3. Travis Pastrana (ok not supercross really but still)
  4. James Stewart
  5. Ricky Carmichael

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Hump Day

Yes, I have chosen to become an active blogger on Wednesday aka “Hump Day” which is ironic because no one is going to be humping any time soon. I have never been much for words, which is also ironic  because I’m not only a English Major but an English Secondary Education Major. Which means I’m going to be teaching English to the future of America. Along with this, I was never one of those girls in middle school writing my life away within the comfounds of a diary, I guess I was never the Anne Frank type. But recently being single after a three year committed (me being the committed one) relantioship I have become intereted in writing down my thoughts and everything that goes on in my life, because shit happens and I’ve got some pretty crazy ass, funny stories to tell.

So watch out Ex Boyfriends, friends, and cats, I’ve got some awesome stories and I don’t give a fuck telling them anymore.So SUCKS TO SUCK! (But don’t worry I will change names around, so don’t flip a bitch) But it’s time I write down my life. Time to buy me another cat, try to become more of a vegetarian, drink, dance, dye my hair and not give a fuck what people think or say.

SO LET THE BLOGGING COMMENCE!

NO MORE DATING, JUST GOING TO BUY A CAT (stories of dating, food, friendships, and cats)

NEW DOCUMENTARY EXPLORES THE \”CAT LADIES\” CONCEPT

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Filed under Dating, List, Really Sally? SingleGirlProblems, single girl problems