Remember how in my more recent posts I spoke about how I just found out they [the stupid birth control making people] “the manufacturer’s” stopped manufacturer my brand of birth control “Loestrin 24” aka the birth control I always accidentally call “Lustrine” [God Damn my life]
So the wonderful birth control making people decided to make “Minestrin.” It’s the same damn thing, but you can chew this one, which I say, “WHAT THE FUCK?!” “NO.” I do not want to chew my pill. First have you ever seen a pill before? They are so small and second I’ve been taking them since I was 17 years old, I think I got this shit on lock down. Expect for that time one pill fell down the sink but that’s why I no longer take them near sink like drains now but still I think I’m good to go!
I even told my roommate Valerie, “Watch before we know it they will have birth control in gummy form.” And she replies, “OMG I WOULD I LOVE TO TAKE THOSE!”
So my doctor was out-of-town until Thursday, then they call and tell me I have to find out what my health insurance covers and I’m like, “umm so you don’t even care what I take?!” So I tell them I’ve already check so they are like, “Oh ok we will send it off.” Then I get a text on Thursday. Oh boy! My birth control is at the pharmacy in California! So I had to call two pharmacist and thank goodness the lady working there is a normal human and understands where I’m coming from.
All thursday though I have been uncontrollably crying at everything! You see if I’m even off by a few hours of taking my pills my body freaks out and well I cry at shit like this:
Shit I was crying about for hours: Valerie comes home and finds me crying on our porch and I go in how they call this bear, lion and tiger trio the “BLT” I can’t stop crying and she’s like, “Oh my God Sally!”
And now its friday, I finally got a call to come pick up my pills at CVS! Hallelujah! Then as I’m walking out of CVS I walk past the all the cards and I see these Boofle cards and I have to rush out of the store before I start to cry again! OH MY GOD WHATS WRONG WITH ME! I NEED MY PILLS!
As I’m sitting at the local coffee shop I visit almost everyday I’m about to take my pills, because I am lady and a lady takes her birth control next to a bunch of strangers drinking coffee and reading The Da Vinci Code because clearly they made a life choice this morning too.
THEN I REALIZE!!! I HAVEN’T TAKEN MY PILLS IN SIX DAYS! I call the pharmacist again and they tell me to start this Sunday, so I have to go through this crying hell for another few days! And of course use other forms of protection for a while and I should have just told her over the phone, “Oh ok.” But what I did say was, “Oh I haven’t had sex since May and that’s not changing anytime soon, so its all good.”
Looks like I’m going to be crying a lot this week.
This is worst then the time I cried every time I saw this commercial: Budweiser Clydesdale Commercial, Super Bowl 2013