I spent the majority of my summer speaking to a few guys.
One that lead to me realizing he just wanted to be my fuck buddy
Another that I still speak to, he’s a nice guy. I liked him last year, but after everything he put me through, now he didn’t do anything terrible just couldn’t make his mind up over me, a past relantionship and the fact that I slept with one of his friends. I’m not about to wait around, be given what little he’s willing to give or work around just his needs. I have needs too.
And the third, well the third one is definitely a disappointment. From speaking to him sense May, someone who was obviously pursuing me. From late night skyping to back and forth conversation. A nice guy, who didn’t talk about wanting to see me naked, just wanted to get to know me. Too good to be true I suppose. I thought this was going to end up finally being a break for me, someone to get to know more and more. Plsu he was moving closer to the town I live in. After three meetings and the fact that he has stopped talking to me I realize this has become nothing but a disappointment. A bummer that I thought this guy was going to be different.
Then again I’ve done with every guy thats walked my way.
That this guy is going to prove me wrong, that for once someone sees me more then sex, more then a body laid out on bed sheets. That this guy is going to change everything.
Now I’m just very down and very disappointed. I know this is especially true because my dream have been extremely voilent. Which is very frustrating because I’ve been up almost every night this week till 4am, then wake up at 9am, working on my poetry, go to class, eat and go off to a few activities for the day.
I hope this feeling goes away soon. I miss sleeping and I have a lot of poems to memorize.
But damn, I’m craving for someone. Don’t have any one in mind but man oh man I am longing for a man. *sigh* Cheesecake is good too