Today I experienced my third tornado dream. Haven’t figured out why I have been developing these dreams lately but I’m beginning to think it has something to do with my back and forth state on dating.
In previous posts I’ve mentioned this numerous times and i’ve mentioned that I’ve mentioned this multiple times as well: One moment I just want sex, just rough, all night, all day kinky sex. These moments of craving sex like it’s a big old piece of cheesecake happen almost every week. Moments were I become the least rational as a woman. Of course these irrational moments have caused me the worst of heartache. Exactly why I’ve concocted the whole idea of being “Closed for Season.” Clearly after last month, the whole being closed didn’t really work out too well, but here I am. FInally closed for the season and hating must days.
Then I have a day like today: I wake up and I’m lonely, craving to have someone text me “good morning,” to miss me, to hold me tight. It’s always great to have someone that wants to hear about your day, wants to make sure you had a good day and lastly someone who is thinking about you throughout the day. That’s the one main thing I miss about dating, about relationships. Knowing someone is thinking about me. I miss this so much, which just gets me pissed, upset, and I take a nap, where I end up dreaming about tornados again.
Tomorrow maybe I’ll just miss sex, then wait for someone to just treat me like a piece of meat and want to fuck me.
Of course my friend is right though, I just need to stay positive with dating. Again I guess I haven’t been so positive with dating because I’ve been so focused on my poetry and throwing all my good energy onto my art form, instead of men. Which is how it should be until someone knows how to treat me right. Treat me as the beautiful, caring, free spirited woman I am.
“I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars”
I fell in love the way I fall asleep: hugging a cool pillow, listening to the rain tapping on my window and dreaming about a tornado carrying me off to Oz…where you’ll be waiting for me.