Women are like cats?

So I came across this website today called, “The Real Men project.”

Ok mistake number one, a man wrote it.

Link to article:

Women Are Like Cats

Mistake number two: the picture at the top is a women wearing a purple wig that happens to have cat ears, which not only makes her look like a whore but also crazy as all shit. This picture should not be the one and only true representation of a women that happens to be all about cats.

Mistake number three: author of the advice column states, “’I’ve been married more than once, so I really don’t know that I should be held up as an expert on romance.” (Then why did you write this article??)

Mistake number five: “Nothing here is meant to demean women. I love women. A lot.”  I feel like I don’t need to continue to discuss number five.

Behold mistake number six, “The Call Back.” As a women dating and as a women who is busy and has her own life I’m absolutely sick and tried of being referred to in the terms of take out food. You don’t just go out with me once on a date and then wait for a certain period of time until you want to go out again with me to show your not all about me. If you like what you see, ask me out again, whenever.  I’m not a game/fast food and I would much prefer a man to be forward with me and let me know they are interested in me. I’m 23 years old and I’m tried of dating games, I just want to go out, have a good time and then to let me know you did too or you didn’t.

Mistake number seven: “Get Physical.” What? What?! What is this section??? “Riding a horse, or going for a run, or learning how to dance provides a commonality of experience that is a fundamental building block of intimacy.” Ok the running part is ok, but a horse? Dear Mr. Man author, where did that thought come from?

Mistake number eight (Ok I’m going to copy and paste this whole section): “Read Out Loud.” “It sounds crazy but one of the most romantic things you can do with the object of your affection is read to her. Poetry may be a bit over the top, unless she’s into that kind of thing. But you could get away with reading the phone book and your lady friend will find it intoxicating. But a good novel is probably best. In a pinch just start reading an interesting newspaper article out loud to her and ask her opinion. Engaging her mind and showing that you respect her opinion will always leave a good impression.”-ok the last time someone read to me was my mom and I was seven years old, so no this would not be a turn on at all. I love books, but I don’t want a man to read me a book. I can read my own stuff. Thanks, but no thanks.

Mistake number nine: “Sex is Sex, Making Love is Completely Different” A line from this section: Think of it like roasting a marshmallow. Too close to the flame and that puppy is going to burn up. It takes patience and a steady hand to get it just right.-Yeah that’s exactly what I want you to think of me as when I’m naked. A nice white, hot, thing of sugar on a metal stick and then you have to hold me out onto an open flame to brown me up before you lay me out on graham crackers and chocolate and then stick me in your mouth. Score.

And finally Mistake number ten: “Women Are Like Cats.” “Too many guys treat women like dogs, when really they are most more feline in nature. With a dog, you can pet them whenever you want. A cat can be very affectionate as well, but they will let you know when they would like to be rubbed. At the right time they will purr, arch their backs, and show great satisfaction in physical attention. But you really have to let them make the first move.”-Ok first of all I would like to point out that I was under the assumption that each of these tips would also somehow connect with cats. Like for example the “READ ALOUD” section. Um yeah, like I previous stated I don’t like to be aloud to and neither does my cat. Also I’m come to the realization that because I’m a women, I’m similar to a cat…so I’m a pussy? Cool. LOL. And to make matters even funnier you compare me to another animal “a dog” Then this wonderful article finishes off with the image in my head of a man rubbing my back neck as I arch my back and purr. Yeah try and get that image out of your head.

Thanks Jameselliot for setting the record straight and making me understand why that last guy I had dinner with asked me if I liked riding horses.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under WTF?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s